Just a couple of days ago senior family students had to sit through a dating seminar. Since I take a family course and since I am to a senior it was mandatory for me to go. Usually when the topic of dating is brought up it is accompanied by the statements "stay abstinent" or "use protection". I thought that this seminar would be a waste of time because I've literally heard all of it before.
The seminar wasn't bad at all, in fact it was very entertaining he was cracking jokes and made everything so relaxed. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the seminar was nothing like I had expected. It was refreshing and insightful. Unlike the usual talks I might get from my parents this seminar taught me about the aspects of dating and the relationships formed from dating. The guest speaker who presented at our school was Brett Ullman. He is a known speaker who travels to countries everywhere. To schools, churches and universities or colleges giving speeches about dating and other topics about life.
According to the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada, in 2004 36.1 percent of couples in marriages will divorce before there 30th wedding anniversary. This is not a reassuring thing to hear. It is especially not reassuring to hear that now considering we live in a society where divorce has become normal. During the seminar Ullman told us that about 20 years ago divorce was irregular and online dating has replaced actually going out on a real date. My have the generations changed.
Wait until you hear this, guess how many high school relationships will last after high school and get married. A big whopping zero. Well this is according to the statistic Ullman gave us. To the rare percent of couples who do last, more power to you. It's feels as if most teenagers are fixated on finding "the one". The glammed up idea of love is made prominent in movies and in shows. This is sure to make youth and teens want to experience the same thing. It gives teenagers this false hope that one day soon a guy will serenade a love song to them unexpectedly and they will have an instant love. Odds are this will never happen. The point that i'm trying to get at is that we shouldn't be in a rush to find our significant other.
Wait until you hear this, guess how many high school relationships will last after high school and get married. A big whopping zero. Well this is according to the statistic Ullman gave us. To the rare percent of couples who do last, more power to you. It's feels as if most teenagers are fixated on finding "the one". The glammed up idea of love is made prominent in movies and in shows. This is sure to make youth and teens want to experience the same thing. It gives teenagers this false hope that one day soon a guy will serenade a love song to them unexpectedly and they will have an instant love. Odds are this will never happen. The point that i'm trying to get at is that we shouldn't be in a rush to find our significant other.
Brett Ullman said that we are young and growing up too fast. We need to take things slow. Relationships will work best if you get to know the other person and grow a rapport with one another. Relationships don't necessarily mean boyfriend/girlfriend, it accounts for family and regular friend relationships. There are a lot of things you have to over come to create a lasting partnership. Each party has to consider what both people want and need. It's this never ending list of trials that make people either grow stronger or weaker.
Something that he said which made me laugh but also think at the same time was "don't marry yourself". This means that people should be with a person who has different interests than them. No, you don't have to find you complete opposite, it's just nice to create a balance between what you both like and dislike. I also value his opinion about sex. How we shouldn't just give ourselves up because we are attracted to someone. If you're not as emotionally and mentally inclined to someone as you are physically than you should probably wait.
Brett Ullman taught me a lot about relationships. I've never been the one to be in a rush to get into a relationship. His talk just assured me that my choices and decisions were perfectly fine. Dating is not only based on the attraction but it is based on feelings, understanding, trust and much more. I know that sounds really sappy but it's true. To sum it all up I've learned that I shouldn't be afraid of dating. Rather I should be aware of who I am and who I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
Brett Ullman taught me a lot about relationships. I've never been the one to be in a rush to get into a relationship. His talk just assured me that my choices and decisions were perfectly fine. Dating is not only based on the attraction but it is based on feelings, understanding, trust and much more. I know that sounds really sappy but it's true. To sum it all up I've learned that I shouldn't be afraid of dating. Rather I should be aware of who I am and who I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
I could go on about his presentation but for now I will just leave this promo of his talk here.
This seminar definitely ranked as one my favourites. I loved it, if only because I got to watch my taken friends squirm when he announced that 'zero percent' statistic!
ReplyDeleteOn the topic of sex, I found it really refreshing that he focused on emotional maturity and sustaining a good relationship/marriage rather than preaching abstinence or negatively judging the non-virgins in the room. I'm not even sure if I wholeheartedly believe in the institution of marriage, but Ullman's advice was nice in that it could be applied to any relationship, regardless of any status.
Hopefully he'll come back next year!
I didn't go to the seminar, so unfortunately I can't speak on the content. I can comment on the subject though!
ReplyDeleteI think it's wonderful that our school was able to get a speaker who didn't berate the audience with messages of abstinence and biblical guilt. From the feedback I've heard and read, Mr. Ullman's presentation sounds riveting. I hope he returns next year!
...ALSO, HERE'S A FUN FACT. MR. ULLMAN USED TO BE MY COMPUTER SCIENCE TEACHER IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! He gave me rocketship rides and piggyback rides and what not. He's awesome.
From watching the video, he seems like a very compelling guy. It's too bad that I didnt go to watch him talk. He brings a realistic view to relationships, and back it up with statistics. It's nice to have a speaker who seems nonjudgmental, but presents facts to the audience -and kind of lets the students reflect on their own.
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate that I wasn't able to attend his talk but I had heard of many great things from his discussion. Thanks for attending and giving me a recap of what went on :)
ReplyDeleteI think what he says about the definitions of relationships is definitely what teens at this day and age need to hear. My parents would never talk to me about topics such as these (who knows I might even be less receptive) but hearing it from a third party, I would probably be more inclined to listen out.